Anxiety Begone

Commission from Etsy

Summary: Bren and Silver are expecting, and with the new changes Bren's anxiety skyrockets again.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of PTSD

Bren ran her fingers through her hair as she paced around the living room. She chewed on the corner of her thumbnail with her mind whirling a million miles an hour. She dropped her hand from her hair to softly caress her slightly protruding belly. She was not sure what to do with herself. She did not regret quitting the rangers. The job had been too stressful and the resulting nightmares had wreaked havoc on her personal life. But without a job, she was not sure what to do with herself. Finding out she was pregnant was a hurdle to cross. Even without the morning sickness, which she was thankful was finally letting up, there was a list of other stresses with the knowledge of a baby coming into the world.

Bren had the same anxieties she figured all women had. She worried about if she would have the knowledge to care for her child properly. If she could protect her child from the dangers of the world. The financial expenses of having a child and raising them. That particular worry was not lessened by giving up her job, even if it was done before she had known she was pregnant. But then there were her other worries. Like what if her baby was too much like Silver and someone took them for experiments? What if the baby had different needs than she could provide? What if they had wings like Silver and when giving birth to a shape her body was not meant to birth she hurt her child? What if the child was too big for her to carry to term?

Bren jumped slightly when a large hand closed over her shoulder. She turned her head and sighed when she started at the large Mothman she called her husband.

Bren leaned into his hand as Silver gently rubbed her cheek and did his best to provide as much comfort to her as he could despite not knowing what was quite wrong. It was not the same restlessness that had haunted his wife before she quit the rangers. Her nightmares were lessened since she quit. But sometimes he would catch her just staring out at nothing with an air of such compressing sorrow he was not sure he could reach through it to touch her and pull her into his safe embrace. Other times, like tonight, it seemed like she was vibrating with anxiety and worries with no way to let them out.

Silver kept one hand softly cupping Bren's cheek, his thumb rubbing against her cheek in what he hoped she would find a soothing gesture. He leaned down, his wings shuffling over his shoulders while he softly kissed her his other hand laying gently over the small mound that was their child.

"Talk to me, Love." Silver whispered carefully guiding his wife towards the couch and pulling her into his lap.

Bren sighed and turned to press her face against the fluffy fur of Silver's chest. She knew he would not just let it go. She had woken him up too many times when her anxieties tried to drown her. But she knew that very few of her worries had any base in reality and she did not want to subject herself to that knowledge.

"Just thinking about the baby." Bren hedged. It was not a lie. Most of her worries were directly related to the baby. "Kinda spiraling I guess."

Silver made a soft humming sound, gently rubbing his hand against her back and carding his fingers through her hair. "If there's anything I can do to ease your worries... just let me know."

Bren chewed on her lower lip for a moment as she debated asking for what she wanted or not. Finally deciding that the worst her husband could do, and something she really wished she could convince her mind he would not do, was say no.

"Can I," Bren's voice shook slightly as she trailed her hands down the front of his body until her fingers found the edge of his pouch. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Just for a bit? I... when the nightmares were bad it really helped. So I was just thinking-"

"You don't have to justify it to me." Silver stroked her head and pressed a brief kiss to her lips. "I'd be happy to let you rest in my pouch."

Bren sighed with relief, though she genuinely did not know how she could have expected anything else. With Silver's help, Bren carefully found her way into the warmth of Silver's pouch. She pressed her head against his stomach, curling her hands around her own stomach with soft strokes.

Silver's eyes never left her as he watched her eyes become heavier and heavier. He kept one hand lightly stroking her hair and cheek while the other traced the curve of her body he could feel through his pouch. Secure in the knowledge that his wife, the love of his life, and their unborn child, the love he would give his life for, were both secure and safe in his pouch. Nothing would be able to harm them secured in his hold and safely tucked into his pouch. He knew he would need to get Bren to talk to someone, if not him then maybe a therapist, about the swirling emotions that drove her from their bed and often made it difficult for her to sleep. But he figured if he could provide her a warm secure place to sleep for the foreseeable future there was no reason not to. Bren felt safe and loved enough in his pouch to drift into a restful sleep and Silver let the security of being able to provide for and protect his mate soothe his own anxieties.

Stroking over the outside of his pouch in soft circles Silver hummed a song he barely remembered his own mother singing to him. He was not even sure he had the words and tunes right but the soft sigh from Bren as she snuggled herself further into his pouch told him it was not that horrible. He would protect the two precious beings in his pouch from any danger, physical or emotional, in whatever way he could.